Writing FIREBRAND Year One

I'm glad I started this project--re-reading and posting old journal entries from when I was creating the first part of Lin's story. Through it I have embarked on an interesting personal journey. It's fun to see what I planned to have in the book and compare it to what it evolved into.

But enough of 2011 for now. Let's swirl back in time to 1992.

*****

More snow. Eight inches over night-ick. Great neighbors. Someone cleared our driveway with their snow blower. Yes, there is a god. There is no way I would have been able do that myself with a shovel. Yes, David (teenage son) could have helped--tag-team! And if Bill were home and not in California!! Anyway, the neighbor must have seen us struggling and like a knight in shining armour came to our rescue. Bless him!

I'm making forward progress with the book. Wish I could get backwards as well. Guess I just need to get chapter one refined before I can move on. It's going like a jigsaw puzzle--one piece here, another there, yet another somewhere else all together. How will it all fit together?

Yikes! Chapter one is depressing. I can't wait to get out of it. It's so down and somber and dark. I was not made to be a soldier. Wow! Lin just snuck that one in on me. Thanks. Nothing short of a complete re-write will do. It all seems to be there now. If I could just shape it so that it flows better. And stop worrying about making it too long. This is a novel, I don't have to think about length--there are no such restrictions. I am my own bitterest enemy in this journey.

So. What do we have? Lin and Gareth. He's what? Six years older? A love match? Where do they meet, if Lin doesn't grow up in Camelot? Meet in the kitchen of Camelot. The Beaumains story from the Malory tradition? Gareth goes off on his fate first. Within a year Lin ends up learning her birthright. How? We'll work it out later. The friendship of Lin and gareth resumes, etc. Did Gareth and Lin marry? Good question. And what about Dafydd? And how does Lin get to the kitchen?

Lin's marriage would definitely be a frequent topic, since she's Arthur's daughter. Gawain (15 years older)would be first choice as husband. Gawain was head of that clan. Age wouldn't matter to parents. It would to Lin. She could work to convince them of a love match. She and Gareth are at least hand-fast/betrothed before he dies. (Malory tradition: Lancelot kills gareth in Guinevere's rescue.) In our story: how? Why? At Camlann?

Lin doesn't marry Gaheris (seven years older) right away after Camlann. A year later? When is Bear/Arthur conceived?

My head hurts! Time to rest and let things stew a bit. We'll come back to this later.

****
This was a fun entry to rediscover. Great insight to my process. It hasn't changed a bit. I still go roundabout with things. Get on tangents that I think are important to the book and fixate on them. Funny how none of that working in Camelot's kitchen ever wound up in Firebrand! I had some interesting scenes running through my head. And the book would have been very different had I gone that route. But I think I saw how cliched the scenario was.

Had to laugh about me fretting over things getting too long--I still have that trouble with book three!!

Thanks for reading,
Debra

Writing FIREBRAND Year One

K I Sawyer AFB, MI
(Marquette, MI)
February 5, 1992

Well, Gareth has made his intro in a grand way yesterday. From out of no where, he stepped into a scene with Lin. So now I have Lin, Gareth, Gaheris (Ris), Bedivere, and Dafydd for sure. Gwen is still silent. Also still silent: Arthur, Lancelot, Merlin, Modred . . . The list of characters is endless!

But today? It's quiet in Camelot. I'm procrastinating. I have to re-write chapter one again and don't want to. It's a lovely, sunny day. I think I'll go into town awhile. Then I'll work on the re-write.

****

I remember that scene of Gareth and Lin talking. It never made it into FIREBRAND, of course because the book wound up taking a different course; focusing on Lin's years of slavery in Orkney. At this point in the brainstorming, I was still thinking that the slavery years would get glossed over. That in the course of the character relating her life story, she'd mention the slavery and then move on to meeting her dad and getting to Camelot. I still had a long way to go. And the scene didn't make it into RECRUIT either, but it led to something I did eventually use in RECRUIT only without Gareth. If you've read RECRUIT, it's the scene right after she's broken Cerdic's nose and she's sweeping out the stable as her punishment for fighting in the ranks and her dad shows up. Originally it was Gareth first and then dad. I decided that we didn't need both and dad was more important. But Gareth got the scene going for me, so thumbs up to him.

My list of characters is also interesting. People who have read FIREBRAND and RECRUIT will notice that there is no sign of Merlin! And there will be none in the rest of the series.

And as for putting off the re-write? I was still doing it long-hand at the time. On loose leaf paper, with fountain pen. And there were about 35 of those pieces of paper that I would have to re-copy like a medieval monk in a scriptorium.

Thanks for reading,
Debra

Writing FIREBRAND Year One

As promised!

K I Sawyer, MI
(Marquette, MI)
January 27, 1992

Journal time. My word. Such progress. And content. How did I know all that? Wow. Weekends are nearly hopeless. Summer will be impossible. Well, one thing about the kids coming home from school--they bring me back to the 20th century every now and then. And that's not a bad thing. Not good to stay too long in the Dark Ages.

Keep saying I'm going to take a a walk, but never do. Just not the same as the country lanes I wandered in England. My, it's nearly a year since we had to leave. Talked to Bill (hubbie). He is really encouraging. He likes the samples I've sent so far. Been reading and re-reading what I've written so far. The latest 2 pages gave me shivers and the fear for my own sanity--that I could 'dream" that up!

Lin is telling the story to her daughters! She has two and she's about 4 months pregnant with another child. Possibly a son as well? (Art?)

*****

A bit of brain-storming there I see. So, Bear didn't exist right away. Interesting how things evolve in creating stories. I had forgotten that bit, that I thought of the daughters first, but not her son. Must have been a feminism thing I was striving for deep down. Not sure what I wrote thast gave me shivers though--maybe the bit towards the end of chapter one where she's recalling the horrors of the battle-field. It must be that cuz I couldn't have had much more of the story by then.

Go Bears!

Just saying. Besides, there's nothing in the 1992 journal to share today. Lin talked to me a little yesterday. Wrote a few pages for book #3 in the House of Pendragon series--The Shield-bearer. She just called her dad a liar and a fraud. In the Round Table Hall. In front of all the knights. And she has walked out. (After being a knight for less than a whole day.) Now she's realizing what she's done. Do I send her to the tavern to drown her sorrows in ale? Or do I send her to her room to pack, intending to leave Camelot?

What would Lin do?

Update from the Indy Branch of Camelot

Although written in 1992 my journal entry for this date inspired me to return to my roots. Not sure if I actually went downstairs to watch CAMELOT that night--probably just Arthur's soliloquy. I did watch it today and felt a familiar jolt. I think may Lin have returned. Or even Arthur himself. I paid particular attention to the second part when Mordred comes to Camelot. I know I was drawn to Arthur's sorrow and loneliness and the destruction of the Table. It must have struck a chord back then too. I wish they had drawn out the story line of Mordred just a little more. David Hemmings played him well and I wanted more! I also found myself crying for Guinevere for the first time ever! I have never cried for Gwen. But Vanessa Redgrave's portrayl was so moving in that final scene when she's talking about forgiveness. I guess I just haven't watched it start to finish in quite a long time. I usually just watch Arthur's speech and that Round Table scene.

Writing FIREBRAND Year One

Settled on the brown ink for this one.

K I Sawyer AFB, MI
(Marquette, MI)
January 18, 1992

It is after 1 am and I'm still wide awake. Nothing new to write. Had a small bit for the story "Visions of Avalon", continuing with events happening the day after. Introduced two new characters. Who are they? They will be interesting to get to know. Tighan and Elen. Plus mentioned two others. Lots to do. People to meet and learn about. Become friends with. And me as shy as I am!

Nowhere near being tired. Maybe I'll watch Arthur's soliloquy in "CAMELOT". Good idea!

****

Fun, both Tighan and Elen wound up in FIREBRAND. Elen as Dafydd's mother and Tighan as a slave. Lin and Dafydd meet her in the slave's camp after being transported from Orkney to Britain's mainland. Dafydd and Tighan become instant friends. Lin, as usual, isn't so sure. She resists making friends with anyone because she's afraid she will lose that friend because of their slavery.

Writing FIREBRAND Year One

I'm still awake. Thought I would get this one up early. I volunteer at my local library's book sale room a few hours on Sundays, so I may not get to this!

Are you ready?

K I Sawyer AFB, MI
(Marquette, MI)
January 16, 1992

At least two volumes.
Dedicate to A. E. (Arthur Erickson)

****

There are only a few people in the world who know the significance of Arthur Erickson in my life. I will leave it that way for now. But I changed my mind when the time came for a dedication when the book came out. Still searching though and he's half of the reason for my e-mail--FerchArthur.

Writing FIREBRAND Year One

This is a colorful entry! I started in black ink--ball point. Switched to brown ink--fountain pen. Tried green for a few words. Then red - the line: "I've died and gone to heaven". (The line of my letters was very smooth.) Then there are a few sentences in a bright blue and I really didn't like the pen, but I do like the color. I finally ended in brown.

K I Sawyer AFB, MI
(Marquette, MI)
January 15, 1992

Journal time. Not much new. No new earth shattering inspirations on Camelot. Not that ideas have stopped! They keep coming faster than I can sort them. They've been keeping me up to the wee hours lately.

I'm sure the neighbors will be glad when I get some new music. Wish I could find a new Marillion or Chris de Burgh CD. That would be brilliant. Need to write some letters. To Bill, Jan, etc. Need to get groceries, go to finance. Payday errands. The usual. More later!

(Brown ink) Wow! Check this out. A brown Berol. (Loved that pen company!) Got a red and a green as well, plus a few more blue! Yippee!! Found a place that can order them for me. All right. Check it out, great color. I've died and gone to heaven.

Check out the Varsity. Nope. Not the same, too splotchy. Nice color though. Save it for emergencies only. Ick.

Love the Berol!

***

There is just something about the write pen in hand. It's weight and balance. Kinda like a sword has to be right. Right, Lin?

Writing FIREBRAND Year One

K I Sawyer AFB, MI
(Marquette, MI)
January 14, 1992

Helin's fosterage -- Morgause offers to do it, "to atone for Modred" but instead of raising her according to her station . . . About 12 - 13 years later Morgause goes to Camelot and presents her brother Arthur with some "servants": Lin and Dafyd, a few others for good measure. Then Lin and Dafyd work on Camelot for about a year before anyone realizes who Lin really is. Let's try to avoid that royal birthmark cliche to identify Lin.

God! They were all related to each other. No wonder they were all mad. Such twisted geneologies.

****

Interesting peek at my brainstorming process here. Again with Helin instead of Lin. And Dafydd with only one "d" at the end. And like Morgause would really repent anything! So funny. But I was really thinking along the lines of Lin working in Camelot alongside Gareth (using his kitchen-knight story-line) and them becoming friends and all and Lin hidden in plain sight! Had some interesting scenes going on in my head that never made it to the page. But it was all driving me to Lin being a slave in Orkney! This is so much fun, looking back like this.

Writing FIREBRAND Year One

K I Sawyer AFB, MI
(Marquette, MI)
January 13, 1992

What an incredible feeling--to have this magnificent story, exploding from somewhere deep within you. The words bursting out from your soul, through the pen and onto the page.

****

Wow! What eles can be said? I guess I was pretty happy. Now? I'm just frustrated with Lin. I've been stuck for chapter 14 in book three for quite awhile now. Where are the words now?

Writing FIREBRAND Year One

Today was a very short post back in '92. The struggle for the title of the book. I knew the theme would involve Arthur's children: daughter Lin and the more famous Modred. I was still also thinking of the broader story of Arthur. I still had a lot of brainstorming to do. Looking back, the title was the least of my worries at the time. But I was much younger and . . .

K I Sawyer AFB, MI
(Marquette, MI)
January 12, 1992

Leave it to divine intervention and the solution presents itself. New title: Daughter of Britain. How could it be anything less? Thanks, Lin.

end of entry

***

Ah, I used "Lin" here. That's a good sign. This was also when I was thinking it would be only one volume, that I could get the entire story in one book. Ha!! How naive of me. I think I was also influenced a little by Indiana Jones--well his father in the third movie: Indiana Jones and the Holy Grail. That's still one of my favorite movies. LOL!

Writing FIREBRAND Year One

I wonder if it was snowing on this date back in 1992 when I wrote my journal entry. It is snowing here today in Noblesville and I'm glad I don't have to go outside. I do all my travelling here on the Internet!

I seem to be full of myself. Or does every writer get like this in the creating process? I certainly was riding high. And I remember the giddiness of those days. I didn't have an office then, or a computer, or even a typewriter. Back then, I wrote while sitting on the couch. I balanced a clipboard holding loose-leaf paper in my lap and wrote in longhand with a fountain pen. Maybe I need to go old school again!

K I Sawyer AFB, MI
(Marquette, MI)
January 11, 1992

A new day, full of new ideas and new words. What a bloody, great tale I have to tell, indeed! Where is all this coming from? Don't question, Deb. Accept the gift. For it can only be just that.

I realized today that the majority of modern novels pertaining to the Arthurian have been done by women. How odd.

I no longer want to call this "The King's Children". At least I don't think I don't think I do. But I don't know what else to call it. I'm sure that too will be there when the time comes. I doubt it not. Oh. I feel numb right now as Helin.

Indeed. Indeed.

I have run out of ideas for today. That's alright. Don't mind. Just as well. My arms certainly are sore, as if I had hefted a sword and shield myself all day. Ouch!

I read and re-read what I wrote this week and can't help but be amazed that it came from me.

(end of entry)
***
(back in 2010!)
I was still calling her Helin then? I thought I had made the switch a few weeks earlier. And I don't think I was impressed so much with the brilliance of the quality of the writing, but the creative process. I was feeling good about simply setting my ideas into words that made sense on the page. It seemed to me that I had a decent sense for character and dialogue and point of view. And I proved that right when I had the thing critiqued a few years later.

As always, thanks for reading!
Debra

Writing FIREBRAND Year One

Here I was in a very happy mood, I think. The words were flowing. But what I wrote in this period of time never made it to the final version of FIREBRAND. Today? No words from Lin or Dafydd. Or Gareth or Ris. Even Modred is quiet.

K I Sawyer AFB, MI
(Marquette, MI)
January 10, 1992

Time to reflect on this past week. What a difference a “year” makes. New Year’s resolutions sure can be powerful, even if you do not consciously make them.

My husband Bill suggested that I take my writing seriously, when I did the short story. Him--actually encouraging all along. Me--paying lip-service. “Yes, I really want to but . . . “ Same old excuse. I have just been afraid of it. Well, it’s beyond my control now. Some other force has taken over, given me the spark I needed. Feeling the despair of my characters, sharing a joke with them, my heart soaring with hope along with them, the joy of getting the words to mean exactly what I thought. There is no other feeling like it and I can’t imagine doing anything eles, ever. Nothing will ever measure up to this labor of love.

Somehow, from somewhere, words are flowing out of my pen, that I never realized were in me. I don’t know if anyone eles will think it is any good but I am truly amazed at what I have accomplished this week. And the ideas keep flooding in. Flooding in so fast I can can’t keep up with them!

Wow! Need to send 2 more installments to Bill. Can’t wait to hear his opinions. I never thought I would be able to share it with others so freely. I know, that’s the point! I guess I was reluctant before because everything I have written up to my short story have been false starts to Lin’s true story. I wasn’t happy with it and felt it unfit for human consumption.

I have finally grown up, I think. Maybe? Not! Had too much fun this week.

Thanks for reading!

Writing Firebrand: Year One

Gonna really take a chance with this and bare my soul. I pulled out this journal for a reason. I wrote it for a reason. Thought I would share my writer's journey with my friends and fellow writers.

January 2, 1992
KI Sawyer, MI (near Marquette, MI)

A writer writes, always. A brand, shining new year. Full of hope and lots of plain, white paper. So pure it hurts the eyes.

Well, I've written a short story and submitted it to the Marquette Monthly Competiton. My it looks good all typed up. Maybe I'll even win. Who knows?

What to write now? There's a competition in Military Lifestyles. Need to think on that just a little more. Final deadline is March 31, 1992--plenty of time. The practice of these 2 competitions will be good. Good experience.

Then there's the romance story (novel) idea I have. It could happen. All these lovely ideas floating around in my brain. Lots of paper and ink too! Love these fountain pens. Just need to adjust to the quirks of the nib. Slightly different from the blue one.

I already have doubts about the story I sent in. Surprise?! Of course it could be better. Maybe come up with a story involving my nursing experiences? Hmm . . It could happen.

**end**

All that brainstorming led to the scene I posted last time, with Garheris telling Lin her father was wounded.

The Official Start to The Firebrand--where it began

I recently went through a box, wanting to transfer the contents into plastic totes/tubs and move it from our bedroom. I knew what was in the box, so I wasn't surprised by what I found--several years' worth of my journals. On the top was one dated for 1992, what I found inside besides the journal pages is what surprised me, because I thought it had been lost: I found the page with the very first words I wrote leading to the version of FIREBRAND I have today. The words that officially got the novel started. They aren't in the book, but this is what got the brainstorming rolling for me.

I thought I would share. Apologies for the crude/bad writing, but I didn't fix anything.

Dated: 1-2-1992 (close to midnight)

"Your highness." Sir Gaheris swept past the guard around me. His voice was trembling. He knelt before me and repeated, "Your highness, Sir Bedivere sent me. Your father, the king . . ." his voice trailed off in a half-sob.

In my mind, I panicked. We were standing in the twilight after a full day's battle at the River Cam. A futile and senseless battle against my half-brother Modred. (In the margin, I added: Killing had never been easy for me. {Right! Our Lin?}) The carnage of the battle surrounded us. The sickening syench, hung heavy in the air. It clung to my skin, my hair, my clothes. I'll never be clean again, I remember thinking. I fought to keep my voice in control as i spoke. "What of my father, Gaheris?" BUt, I already knew what his reply would be.

"The king has been sorely wounded--Sir Bedivere (striken: has sent me to) bids you, please come. I shall take you to him." My father was dying. Why had I not been there to defend him?

*end*

Not my use of Bedivere. That eventually changed to Bedwyr. The river changed from the cam to the Thames. But it was Ris who got things started. He "spoke" the first words. I was in bed, unable to sleep and I "heard" and "saw" Ris. I immediately turned the light back on and scribbled those words. More came the next day, and the brainstorming began.

I'm thinking of posting some of those journal entries from that first year of writing. My struggles. My joys. My thoughts on creating Lin.